DATING YOUR FRIEND’S EX: WHY YOU SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T (PART TWO)



WHY YOU SHOULD PROCEED WITH DATING YOUR FRIEND’S EX

Even though it’s risky, but you can proceed with caution, if you find any of the following statements to be true.

i.                    YOU’VE GOTTEN YOUR FRIEND’S BLESSING: Call your friend or talk to him/her in person and explain your feelings in details. This will be a lot better than for your friend to find out from an external source (trust me it’s gonna be disastrous). The key is communication because an honest conversation can save a relationship (even if you’re just giving him/her a head’s up and not necessarily asking for permission).  A frank chat is far better than hiding it.
Note that: This shouldn’t happen immediately after their breakup. Give it time.

ii.                  IF YOUR FRIEND HAS MOVED ON: If the break up was amicable and your friend is either very happy in his/her current relationship or if your friend is already happily married to another guy/lady with kids. A good friend would want the same happiness for you even if it’s with someone he/she used to sleep with.
Note that: If he/she isn’t happy in her current relationship do not try it. It may cause enemity with your friend. 

iii.                DIVINE INTERVENTION: If you’ve sought the face of the Lord with regards to your relationship and you’ve been giving a go ahead. The voice of the Lord is far greater than the voice of any man. You can go ahead with the relationship wit your friend’s ex.
Note that: Do not use this as pretence to use God’s name to lie. Do not fake Gods words. It always has great repercussions. 

iv.                IF YOU BOTH ARE MADLY IN LOVE: If the relationship with your friend’s ex is strong enough to handle the repercussions, it’s not wrong to pick your future husband/wife over your friend.
However, if he/she’s one of your lifelong friend, be prepared for the reality that you might lose your friend for life.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T PROCEED WITH DATING YOUR FRIEND’S EX

It is not advisable to date your friend’s because of some numerous reasons. However, here are some reasons why you shouldn’t proceed with dating your friend’s ex.

i.                    You mind end up losing a good friend.
ii.                  Your friend’s ex might be taking advantage of you such that you might end up been dumped by your friend’s ex. (This might have been the reason your friend and his/her ex broke up in the first place.
iii.                You become quite insecure with your friend if eventually he/she agrees to the relationship.
iv.                You might end up bowing down to societal and family pressure (Dating your friend’s ex would definitely stir up mix reactions among your friends and families and peer groups, and as such you might end up losing value among your loved ones based on this issue)
You might say your Happiness is important but in this situation, you might be happy in the relationship but not really happy with yourself which might later end up in a breakup, so why try it in the first place?
v.                  If your friend haven’t healed from the breakup and she’s still single and mopey about the situation. (Never try to date your friend’s ex).
vi.                If your friend isn’t over the relationship and is still actively requiring your support in helping him/her make up with her ex. (It’s not very ethical to go into a relationship with your friend’s ex).
vii.              You will be tagged as a backstabber and a very bad friend. (The stigma will always be there as long as you’re in a relationship with your friend’s ex.

LarrysThoughts: Closing Remarks

“The common thought among guys and young ladies that once they’ve dated a guy/lady/woman. She’s off limits to all of his friends – No matter how long it’s been since they broke up”. This is ridiculous thinking. We don’t own people; we just share our time with them. Its your job to make the relationship you have with him/her a great experience, and when that relationship comes to an end, you need to let him/her go. You had your time together and hopefully you created some great memories, but now it’s not your place to try and change or control anyone’s future or the way they want to live their lives.

I am somebody who truly believes that people are not possessions. I don’t care if it’s a casual acquaintance, I don’t care if it’s your best friend in the world, and I don’t care who broke up with whom. If I break up with someone – and I have broken up and been broken up with a lot – I have no problem with any of my friends dating my ex, falling in love with her and even marrying her. A great relationship, and great chemistry between two people, can be rare to come by.

If you’re feeling a connection with someone, I firmly believe that you need to take every potential opportunity for finding a great person to be with. And if you’re the bystander, if you’re fuming because your friend is dating your ex who broke up with you, you need to realize that people are not your possessions. You may have shared something special with him/her in the past – that’s something to cherish – but now it’s time to give your friend and your ex the freedom to do what they want without you in the picture.

        #LarrysThoughts

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Comments

  1. Unknown18 January 2018 at 12:41

    Exactly, only God has the right to call us his own, nobody owns anybody, we are only partakers one way or the other. Nice one👌👍

    ReplyDelete

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